Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a returns policy enforced by staring.
Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a shipping department located under the couch, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
The old guard prefers a returns policy enforced by staring. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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